Joseph was peaked with anxious excitement. Everything was about to happen and every thought, good and bad, was sprinting through and around his head.
He looked at the display of items on the bed. Mary was going to bring the sleigh bells, hand cuffs and some surprise stuff, but he had picked up what they agreed he would: Candy cane candles, his red, white, and green leather chaps and vest, a whip made of faux reindeer hair, peppermint-flavoured lube, and a butt plug shaped like a Christmas tree. All was ready and Mary had just texted him that she was ten minutes away.
Mary had a flash of panic when she sent the text. What exactly was she about to do? Meet a stranger from a website for a night of Christmas fetish exploration? She didn’t know Joseph beyond their emails and texts. And as if his name was actually Joseph? Her name was actually Mary, but Mary and Joseph? Really?
On the cab ride to the motel they had agreed on, she considered asking the driver to turn around at every street they passed. She had her best-friend Mona’s number ready to call in case things got out of hand. The scant Santa outfit she had on was nothing more than a white-hemmed red skirt and bra that was starting to itch, and she worried that the edible underwear was going to melt underneath before she even arrived. She wanted to unzip her coat but didn’t want to end up on some weird taxi voyeur website with the video titled “Sexy Santa Beast”, or something worse.
When they stopped in the motel parking lot, she paid the driver and put on the Santa hat that completed her outfit, but didn’t notice the short string of Christmas ornament anal beads fall out of her bag and onto the floor. Later, when she realized their fate, she hoped someone got a great story from them.
Joseph was chapped and vested up and ready to go when he heard the knock on the door. The room was hot and he had a thin sheen of sweat that wasn’t helping with the leather against his skin. He hoped they got into it quickly for fear of a serious chaffing incident.
“Mary?” he said when he opened the door.
“Joseph?” she said. When she saw his ridiculous get-up she immediately felt less self-conscious about her own costume.
“Please come in,” he said, moving a step out of the way.
Mary glanced past him and the whole situation became real. She placed her bag on the bed, took off her coat, and turned to Joseph as he closed the door. He sported a nervous smile and she felt a bit more at ease.
“You look…amazing,” he said.
“Thank you,” she said. “You look amazingly ridiculous.”
“It’s what you wanted though, no?”
“You’re the perfect Christmas cowboy,” she said.
“Great,” he said.
“So, how do we actually do this?” she said.
It turns out getting into it wasn’t as hard as they thought and Joseph was hard within seconds as he approached Mary, who was also flushed with excitement. She didn’t mind that his erection had torn his own edible undies, leaving them in pieces on the ground as that was his kink anyway. After some light foreplay, things progressed fast, with their costumes ending up on the motel room floor. Mary kept on her hat and white-trimmed, black boots, as per Joseph’s request.
It was Joseph that wanted most of the domination. She threw him on the bed and told him to get on all fours. She grabbed the candy cane candles, lit them and then picked up the whip. Mary dripped the candle wax in globs on his back and ass while simultaneously running the tips of the faux reindeer hair over his body, pausing with the candles to lash him when he asked.
Only once did he have to use their safe word – egg nog – when she hit him with extra aggression. It was at that point they stopped and had a quick rum and egg nog and laughed about the situation they found themselves in before getting back to it.
All Mary had requested was he do her hard and fast with the somewhat candy cane shaped strap-on she had found online, while she played with the Christmas tree butt plug he had found on the same website. Eventually they got to that point with the help of the peppermint lube, and Mary was triumphantly cresting her third orgasm when they noticed the faint odor of smoke in the room.
Joseph stopped his rhythm and looked at Mary.
“Is that smoke?” Joseph said, getting to his knees.
“It does smell like it,” Mary said, leaning up and bracing herself on her elbows.
They looked at the candles and all were accounted for, but the smell was intensifying.
The fire alarm blared through the room.
“What the fuck?” Mary said.
She jumped to her feet knocking Joseph off the bed. He righted himself and they stared at each other for a moment, before frantically attempting to pick up everything they had strewn throughout the room.
“Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn,” Joseph said, and Mary echoed him with every single curse word she had ever heard.
They had almost everything collected and were ready to put on their, now ridiculous, costumes to get out of the room and into the fresh air of the parking lot when the door slammed open and two firefighters stood in the frame.
Mary and Joseph stopped in place and both considered how ridiculous they must look, him covered in wax with a candy cane strap-on dangling from his crotch and her in the sexy Santa boots and hat, holding a butt plug and whip.
“Everything’s under control,” said a voice from outside the room.
The firefighter closest to them turned to the voice and said, “ya, but we’ve got a bit of a situation in here,” as the butt plug slipped out of Mary’s hand and a large chunk of wax fell to the floor from Joseph’s back.