The Writer’s Alphabet vol.6; “F” is for Fuck

7rf F 11

Since I started this column I have been looking forward to writing this piece. Fuck, it’s the galactic president of words. Many arguments could be made as to why this is the case but I will stick to one or maybe two. Three if I get really inspired. Fuck is the grand champion because it is the most versatile word in any language in the universe. Is it a “bad” word? Sure, that could be true. I would say though, it is the greatest because of its versatility and is only bad if you use fuck with reckless abandon because it is a lazy choice. It can be used in so many different ways that it loses its meaning after a while.
Fuck you, you fucking fuck. A great sentence that also makes for a great t-shirt – one I am proud to say I own – but that sentence is also lazy as fuck because it simply relies on one (two) word(s). However! Brevity is the soul of wit and less is more and so it is also a beauty piece of prose because it doesn’t use more words than need be.
Due to its somewhat taboo nature, fuck is best used when it is least expected. Tossing a random fuck into an otherwise innocuous sentence will no doubt spice it up and keep your audience more intrigued by what might come out of your mouth or your page.
George Carlin wrote a piece about seven words you can’t say on television. While crude, I think it proves the point that fuck is the king can. The words are, “Fuck, shit, piss, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.” First off, fuck comes first. Second, it’s mentioned twice and can also be used as a prefix or suffix to any of the other words, even motherfucker!
And on another unrelated note with respect to fuck. I took a writing class a few years back. It was a journalism course and the teacher posed a question in relation to point-of-view when it came to writing articles. “Who the fuck are you?” Is fuck necessary in this query? I would say yes, because it emphasizes the point being made. In good journalism, the writer should not be present. In a column – which is what I am writing right now – the writer is a part of the writing and thus, the use of “I” can be acceptable. But in writing about a subject, say a war for example, the writer should keep themselves out of it. Who the fuck is that writer to say, “I think (insert opinion here),” unless it is the very point of the article? So with respect to this column I will ask, “Who the fuck am I?” I am a writer working on a career by posting columns, links, and articles to this blog based on my experience in writing. It is up to you, the reader, to deem whether my experience and opinions hold any weight. I am jtkwriting and this is my blog so it is my voice. Thus, using “I” is acceptable. The only remaining question is, “Who the fuck are you?”
Having looked forward to writing this for so long I thought I would have more to say. Them’s the fucks of it I guess. Ah well. Fuck it.

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About jtkwriting

Writer living in Toronto. "Sneak out of your window darling, let's live like outlaws honey." View all posts by jtkwriting

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