You might think me dead, in fact, I’m pretty sure that’s the party line. It was the safest and most humane way to deal with my disappearance. In truth, I left because I had to go kill a man. I know this wasn’t fair to you, to me, to us, or to the man I killed, but the choice was made clear to me the morning of the day I left 20 years ago. It was you or him. That doesn’t excuse me of any wrong doing with respect to our relationship, nor does it excuse me of any of the other sins I have committed since – yes, more killings followed, but it should at least give you the weak reason for why I did what I did.
I’m not writing you for forgiveness. I’m writing so you know more about me. At one point, I thought we might tackle the world together, and, well, I left so, that clearly didn’t happen. I guess this is more so that you have an understanding of my life in the past two decades and why it’s better that you tackled those years with the people you did and not the person you (and I) might have believed you were meant to.
That morning we were supposed to meet and have our first breakfast together. We had spent many nights together over those few weeks but none of it was planned and none of it lasted past sunrise. Before I had a chance to really meet you, the knock on my door, the gun in my face, and the promise of your demise sealed our fate.
Terrence is a brilliant but treacherous asshole. I didn’t know him and he didn’t know me. He sees random people living their lives and has them followed. He tailed me throughout those wet weeks and tailed you as well. When he found his leverage, he used it.
Andrew was his name. He had three kids and a second wife. He drove a minivan, but always wanted to buy a Porsche. At least he liked to stop at the Porsche dealership and test drive the cars. If he was pressed for time he might just get out of the van and stare at the lot, dreaming of the day his alimony payments would disappear, or maybe wishing he had stuck it out with his ex, so he could have found his true freedom on the road with a four wheeled love. This could be true. For every person I was forced to kill, I made up his or her story. I never actually knew anything about them, only what I could glean from their funerals.
This is the very least I can do for you. Explaining everything. I picture you reading this wondering where it is going. Is this for real? Did Travis really write this? This has to be a joke. Unfortunately, this is not a joke. This is my honest gift to you. My last 20 years, so you know you didn’t miss out on anything. You’ll excuse me if I’m reaching there, putting emotions into your head and chest. You might already be over it and that is completely fair. I just wanted to cover all bases because today it ends. My “contract” is up. For better or worse, today is my last day and you deserve to know everything, or at least someone does.