So this is the new blog. Intense. I’m sweating.
I did this writing exercise this morning about, “a character arrives at work to find her chair missing. What happened to it?”. I got it out of this book of random writing exercises meant to stimulate your brain and get you writing, even if it’s crappy. At least you are putting the all important word to the all important virtual page. To read my take on the exercise, please read below.
I heard this quote from a movie trailer last night:
“today is tomorrow.”
I like it. I annotated it a tad to be:
“today is (yesterday’s) tomorrow.”
Same thing basically.
This was the last straw.
First it was the birthday pen, then it was the keycard, then it was picture of her and Wayne on holiday. This time it’s the chair.
“Where did you last see it?” asked Harriet, Marlene’s shrewish boss.
“Where? At my fucking desk Harriet, where the fuck do you think I last saw it?”
Marlene could get away with using colourful language with her boss because it was a scant two years ago that they shared a cubicle wall.
“Alright Marlene, what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to fire the fucker who’s been stealing my shit!”
Harriet looked out past Marlene toward the sea of cubicles. Heads were turning toward the scene Marlene’s last menacing request that was audible through the closed office door.
“Well, I don’t exactly know where to look,” Harriet replied, crossing her arms and shifting uncomfortably in her own luxury chair.
“Can we check the cameras?”
“Sure but you know how long it will take to get someone on that.”
Calmer now than when she had entered the office, Marlene slumped her shoulders and nodded in defeat.
“I just wish I knew what I did to provoke someone to screw with me like this,” Marlene said.
“I’m sure it’s just someone having fun. Your things always make there way back to your desk, right?”
Marlene left the office after her and Harriet shared a, ‘what can you do’, shoulder shrug and she skulked to the small counter near her cubicle where a coffee maker had been set up. She hit the button on the kettle and prepped herself for a cup of unfulfilling instant java.
“Good morning miss,” said a grandfatherly voice to her left.
Marlene looked forward, her solemn, “good morning Frank”, belying her current state of mind.
“I’ve got this for you,” Frank said.
Marlene turned and low and behold Frank had her chair.
“Where did you find it!?” Marlene almost ran the two steps to him to give him a thankful embrace however the chair was in their way.
“I had it re-covered for you overnight. Sorry, it’s late,” Frank smiled.
Marlene looked at chair, then at Frank, and then over at Harriet and then remembered, what she now realized was, her overreaction. Then she drew a gun from her bag and shot herself in the head so that it would never happen again.
Everyone was shocked but they all learned a valuable lesson: don’t fuck with other people’s shit because they might take it too seriously and fucking kill themselves because they overreact to a small thing and then feel like a douchebag and then overreact to their reaction. Oh my…